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Why does my life have to suck...

OK so look:
When I was little I was always picked on since I wasnt like the other girls. I was never girly and I NEVER matched. I was pretty crazy and stupid. People would make fun of me and I would just laugh along because I wouldnt understand. We moved when I was about 9 or 10 to Florida where I live now. Upset that I moved away from my hometown I was shy at first. But then my crazy side came out. In fifth grade here I barely got along with the kids. Even the children who live in my neighborhood get along with me. Because Im to crazy.
In 6th grade, in a new school, I was scared.. Scared that people would treat me like they did in NJ. Which they did. I have a sever case of ADHD and I cannot control it. In 6th grade I was BAD. Kids still made fun of me and I had a few friends who understood me. But deep down I knew they didnt. I wanted so badly to go home to my old life. Thankfully I survived 6th grade.
In 7th grade I meet my bestfriend Wolf-chan396 and my other bestfriend Vicky. I also meet a girl named Montanna. We were really close, and I felt comfortable to be myself around them! They actually understood me! While being living here for only 2 years at the time and still being the Crazy me, many people still didnt like me. But I made a few new friends who I thought were mean at first, but then I realized their just like me! But they can control their hyperness better then I can. Anywho I survived 7th grade.
And now 8th grade. This was my worst year and my best. This year I am going to a therapist to help with my ADHD, and now am taking medication to help control it. Barely anyone makes fun of me now. But when they do, I have friends that back me up. A lot of people who I thought were mean last year are now my friends since I can relate to them a little. My bestfriend Vicky went to another school before 8th grade started which sucked. But I get to see her here and there. Montanna got transfered to a different school long before Christmas Break. Soon me and my bestfriend Wolf-chan396 meet and got along with a girl name Nicolett. She was nice and I was friends with her before. But she ended our friendship since I cursed to much. Anyway, after Montanna left Nikki was there. We had fun hanging out, barely ever fought, and things like that. But the problem is that I started noticing that she kept hanging around my bestfriend Wolf-chan396 a lot and trying to exclude me. Also we started to figure out that she was lying about a lot of things. But a week before Spring Break something happened between Wolf-chan396 and her mom and Wolf-chan396 said she couldnt be friends with me and my boyfriend. I thought it was because of us dating. I felt horrible. And guess what. After Wolf-chan396 said she couldnt be friends with me, Nicolett totally ignored me and kept walking away from me when I really needed a friend to comfort me. This lasted for 2 days. I thought our friendship was really over. This I think started the whole emotional stage I am going through now. Luckily Wolf-chan396 just missunderstood her mother when her mom said that she didnt want Wolf-chan396 hanging out at my house all the time. So that got resolved and we are bestfriends again, like sisters. But then Wolf-chan396 and I started to talk about Nicolett. Wolf-chan396 didn't like how Nicolett ignored me during that period and we decided to break our friendship with her. Not just because of that, because of Nicoletts lies and how she was trying to separate me and Wolf-chan396. So we stopped being friends with her and everything was happy and fine. But then we realized that almost all of our friends at lunch who hangs out with Nicolett was ignoring us. We felt bad that she was telling lies to these poor little 6th and 7th graders and even to some of our friends. But we just ignored her.

Now this is the really fucked up part:
A couple days ago, one of the kids who rides my bus and lives in my complex, picked up Nicoletts bookbag and handed it to me. Not knowing whos bookbag it was I threw it back. Not a big deal. Later on that day after I got home, I checked my phone to see if Montanna answered me. I got a message from her all right. Saying to leave Nicolett the fuck alone. What? We werent even bothering her. But Montanna believe that WE are the bullies, picking on poor fucking innocent Nicolett! BULLSHIT. Nicolett is the fucking lying ass bitch who is now turning one of MY bestfriends against me! Me and Wolf-chan396 tried telling Montanna about Nicoletts lies, but of course she doesnt want to hear it. Since Nicolett is so FUCKING PERFECT. We had this entire agruement through text messaging that day, which resulted in Wolf-chan396 coming over and sending about 8 messages to Montanna telling her everything. I was crying so badly I almost had another panic attack. (I had one saturday night since my stomach was hurting, then one on SUnday at the mall, and almost one that day). Montanna also told me it was weak for me to cry, when she just told me that Nicolett was "crying" because of what we "did"! WHAT THE FUCK. SO its ok for NICOLETT to cry but not ME?

And this is the worst part:
Today I texted Montanna to tell Nicolett that she better be at school tommorrow because me and Madison just want to talk. Montanna said she probably wont since her cat just died. I fucking freaked. OH FUCKING WELL IF YOUR CAT JUST DIED. Im fucking sorry. Its sad. I KNOW. I have lost two of my ferrets and still came to school the next day. Anyway I tried to Montanna to stop taking sides because Nicolett lies. Then she goes off on my saying that Nicolett has never lied to here and I lie too. Of course I fucking lie! Everyone lies in their lifetime. We had an arguement again. Im not going into detail though. She told me not to text her again. Which broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. I told her how upset I felt and all she said was that it wasnt all about me. What a fucking friend she is! I thought she actually cared abouy my feelings. She told me not to text her again. But I did. I told her that I didnt want to lose her as a friend and that I am already stressed out and this is making it worse.. She wont answer me and I think our friendship might be over..

This is really hard on me because of how people treated me in NJ. Im always afriad to convey my true self because I am afriad I might be turned down.. This year a lot of people think of me as the "hyper" girl or the "fun" girl. I barely cry at school, and when I do everyone freaks out thinking theirs something wrong. I hate the attention... But I feel like shit now.. Because of the way Montanna is treating me.. I keep wishing we could go back in time and relive the moments we had with her.. I am on the verge of tears right now.. My mother and REAL bestfriends tell me not to cry, to just pass it off. But I cant.. Montanna even said that the reason she said that crying makes me look weak is that she thought I was stronger then that. But Im not.. I am crying over the stupidist things now.

I cant deal with the drama and the stress in my life.

And Montanna not answering me is making it worse.

All I want to do is talk.. Get her side of the story.. Try to sort things out..

But what the fuck do I know?? In her eyes me and Wolf-chan396 are the liars..

Why.. Just why..

I dont even know why the fuck I posted this...

No one I bet read this at all..

If you did..

Thank you for worrying...
Today Montanna texted me telling me